Monday, September 18, 2017

Right here ... right now!

Sept 18, 2017 ~ It has been almost a year since my mom died in her sleep . Sept 24 will be her 1 year death anniversary. It had brought me great sadness and depression and seems like the grieving would continue furthermore due to the sudden death of my dear father who also died in his sleep 10 months after mom's passing. Till now,  I am truly affected. Sadness hoovers over me all the time especially when father had been asking me to come home before his death. I felt so guilty not being able to fulfill his request. So sorry for him and for myself not being able to see each other... give him a hug and a kiss. I was too late to come over and say how I dearly love him.
  It's now more than a month and his passing still goes in and out of my head and my heart is burdened by the sudden loss. I am trying to come to terms and had put myself into my beading inorder to distract me from thinking about him and mom all the time. It works well for me. I had pursued the Swarovski Instructor's Course and I had already finished the Basic level last Saturday. I know I am way passed the beginners level but I was proud of myself and happy to earn the Swarovski Certificate after the course. This certificate I owed to my parents for being my inspirations and models in life. This workshop is just the start of what I am planning to pursue in the future ...

I am sure somewhere out there mom and dad were both smiling for what I had achieved in a month's time. I still have a few more courses ( Intermediate / Advanced ) to take in the next few months. My main goal , right here, right now to achieve the highest certificate I could get my hands on . But of course, before I could do that,  I would need to take things slowly to cope with everything that crosses my path . Inspire myself more with the memories left by my parents and use them to make myself more of a better person than what I used to be. For sure they would be both very proud of me up there in heaven. 

I miss you mom and dad ... all I pursue in life right now are all because of you. You are both the most inspiring people in my life
Many many thanks for everything you had taught and shared with me ... I am proud to become what you had made me over the years.