Sunday, September 01, 2013

3 years Ago, I left Singapore for Perth with dim hopes of a new beginning, and a new life .... taking into consideration the fulfillment of things "as promised by husband of course". why on earth do I always rely on promises  ? Stupid me ...

 During that time I was leaving Singapore , I was so burdened by personal problems affecting me mentally, emotionally and I had even just recovered from some physical problems as well. Equipped with  nothing except for hopes in my mind fighting and trying to overcome the burdens pulling my heart apart, I went to Perth to move on. The 1st 3 months I was adjusting to a new environment and way of life there, I managed to deal with the in house problems slowly eventhough seriously, they never left me  at all. My problems unfortunatetely came to stay further, challenging me even more as months passed by . Another major fall came to light in the beginning of year 2011 when I found out that hubby had gone to his old vice of womanizing... again !

As a saying goes, A cheetah never looses his dots no matter when / what , does he ? Tsk -tsk...

It was the final blow that drove me sleeping somewhere else outside the masterbedroom. 3 months on the living room sofa until I finally had a bed of my own when we moved to a second house giving us more rooms & space . But more area for me to clean on my own.

Living in Perth with my family for 3 years with no physical help had taken its toll  on my physical health so badly. I had been in and out of clinics when I was  in Perth. From being anemic to being depressed to being mentally and emotionally affected, I just wonder why until now I'm here... alive and able to write my story which still runs clearly in my head despite that it has  happened from sometime ago. Out of my depression and grievances  I tried to focus myself on doing other things I loved to do the most. Activities that gave me some sort of  satisfaction and happiness I had never achieved  from my normal house day life. I would stay late at night when everyone else were asleep so I can concentrate on either beading for some jewelries I could sell to earn extra money for myself  :

 or painting from random ideas in my head, pictures I see  , given to me as a challenge piece or pictures taken by myself.

When I was in Perth before, I had been from 1 physiotherapist to another trying to find a cure for my upper right back pain which started in the mid months of 2011.

Perth Wellness Centre

 The consistent pain made me suffer till the early days of January 2012 that I came  to consult a physiotherapist from Perth Wellness Center in Perth to ease out the knots ' tight muscles found on my left and right upper back. She was able to heal my left side after several 30 mins physiotherapy massage visits in her clinic. She told me I need to watch the right side as she feels something is not good about it as well. I have a very slight pain from my right upper back during those times so I just try to ignore the pain and continue the daily chores I normally do. But 6 months after, somewhere in August 2012, I couldn't bear the back pain anymore. I came back to the same clinic but she was gone.
I was really so dissappointed to find her gone .

I took another lady who replaced her but the pain never left my back no matter what she does. So I went to my GP and she adviced just to continue having physiotherapy. This time I went to my 3rd physiotherapist. He wasn't good as well so in a span of few months I had seen 4 different Physiotherapist. From 1 x a week visit, I started having 2 x a week sessions. But, sadly, my back was never relieved of pain at all. even the acupuncture performed by the 4th sports physiotherapist  never helped me but even aggravated my conditon to the point I had numbness in 3 of my  fingers all the way up to my right arm. I started getting really depreseed due to the fact that, I have to work everyday at home with pain and tingling sensation and sore back blades on my right side. I . Drove kids on and off from school and do errands in between. Not easy when nothing / nobody is helping me with the pain I'd been going thru it every single day . So hard be on my own dealing with all of this all the time.

I'm glad i found several nice friends in Perth from different nationalities who tried to get my attention away from all my woes.

They were there to witness what I'd been going thru. They were there beside me when I needed a helping hand in the hospitals in times of emergencies. Shoulders to cry one when I had enough in a day.

In Hollywood Hospital in Nov 2012  after an allergic reaction to a painkiller called " MOBIC"  I took to relieve my back pain ...

In a clinic Dec. 2012 after a Bopsy test to my neck  to check for cancer cells .whena cyst was revealed by a Cervical spine MRI

In end of Jan. 2013 in Hollywood hospital after a thyroidectomy operation was perforned to remove my swelling right Thyroid gland.

I won't forget the time, kindness and concern they had given me. They are indeed precious people... they are my angel friends. Just like my real true friends here in Singapore. They had heard my cries, my complains and my stories . They had been with me following my episodes over the years. They cry and they laugh with me. They support me ... and I'm so thankful I have people like them surrounding me always.

At the bottom of my heart I truly love them all....

 Id been thru a lot of hurt aches and sorrows... I had been thru some of the most painful events  that were nerve wrecking and here I stand, still moving on.. still surviving them all. .

I wonder why these bad happenings just keep streaming my way again. This time, I need to go under the knife once more to find a solution to my problematic back. Neurosurgeons  and 2 of the best ones in Singapore ( Dr. Prem Pillay / Dr James tan Siah heng ) came out with the same findings and solutions. An Anterior Cervical Microsurgery.... is probably the only option to cure my physical pain for now.  Mental and emotional pain? I put them to the side for the moment  coz I would need to wisely  take care of things one at a time.

All I know, I'm here ready to take all the risks and pain ... I just don't care anymore if badluck... in whatever form it may be comes knocking again ...

I need to be firm and brave for my children who need me ...

I shall never give up on anything ... no matter what ...

It's not in my character to be giving up on something ... It's simply not me !