Sunday, September 01, 2013





3 years Ago, I left Singapore for Perth with dim hopes of a new beginning, and a new life .... taking into consideration the fulfillment of things "as promised by husband of course". why on earth do I always rely on promises  ? Stupid me ...



 During that time I was leaving Singapore , I was so burdened by personal problems affecting me mentally, emotionally and I had even just recovered from some physical problems as well. Equipped with  nothing except for hopes in my mind fighting and trying to overcome the burdens pulling my heart apart, I went to Perth to move on. The 1st 3 months I was adjusting to a new environment and way of life there, I managed to deal with the in house problems slowly eventhough seriously, they never left me  at all. My problems unfortunatetely came to stay further, challenging me even more as months passed by . Another major fall came to light in the beginning of year 2011 when I found out that hubby had gone to his old vice of womanizing... again !

As a saying goes, A cheetah never looses his dots no matter when / what , does he ? Tsk -tsk...



It was the final blow that drove me sleeping somewhere else outside the masterbedroom. 3 months on the living room sofa until I finally had a bed of my own when we moved to a second house giving us more rooms & space . But more area for me to clean on my own.



Living in Perth with my family for 3 years with no physical help had taken its toll  on my physical health so badly. I had been in and out of clinics when I was  in Perth. From being anemic to being depressed to being mentally and emotionally affected, I just wonder why until now I'm here... alive and able to write my story which still runs clearly in my head despite that it has  happened from sometime ago. Out of my depression and grievances  I tried to focus myself on doing other things I loved to do the most. Activities that gave me some sort of  satisfaction and happiness I had never achieved  from my normal house day life. I would stay late at night when everyone else were asleep so I can concentrate on either beading for some jewelries I could sell to earn extra money for myself  :









 or painting from random ideas in my head, pictures I see  , given to me as a challenge piece or pictures taken by myself.






When I was in Perth before, I had been from 1 physiotherapist to another trying to find a cure for my upper right back pain which started in the mid months of 2011.

Perth Wellness Centre

 The consistent pain made me suffer till the early days of January 2012 that I came  to consult a physiotherapist from Perth Wellness Center in Perth to ease out the knots ' tight muscles found on my left and right upper back. She was able to heal my left side after several 30 mins physiotherapy massage visits in her clinic. She told me I need to watch the right side as she feels something is not good about it as well. I have a very slight pain from my right upper back during those times so I just try to ignore the pain and continue the daily chores I normally do. But 6 months after, somewhere in August 2012, I couldn't bear the back pain anymore. I came back to the same clinic but she was gone.
I was really so dissappointed to find her gone .

I took another lady who replaced her but the pain never left my back no matter what she does. So I went to my GP and she adviced just to continue having physiotherapy. This time I went to my 3rd physiotherapist. He wasn't good as well so in a span of few months I had seen 4 different Physiotherapist. From 1 x a week visit, I started having 2 x a week sessions. But, sadly, my back was never relieved of pain at all. even the acupuncture performed by the 4th sports physiotherapist  never helped me but even aggravated my conditon to the point I had numbness in 3 of my  fingers all the way up to my right arm. I started getting really depreseed due to the fact that, I have to work everyday at home with pain and tingling sensation and sore back blades on my right side. I . Drove kids on and off from school and do errands in between. Not easy when nothing / nobody is helping me with the pain I'd been going thru it every single day . So hard ...to be on my own dealing with all of this all the time.

I'm glad i found several nice friends in Perth from different nationalities who tried to get my attention away from all my woes.










They were there to witness what I'd been going thru. They were there beside me when I needed a helping hand in the hospitals in times of emergencies. Shoulders to cry one when I had enough in a day.


In Hollywood Hospital in Nov 2012  after an allergic reaction to a painkiller called " MOBIC"  I took to relieve my back pain ...

In a clinic Dec. 2012 after a Bopsy test to my neck  to check for cancer cells .whena cyst was revealed by a Cervical spine MRI

In end of Jan. 2013 in Hollywood hospital after a thyroidectomy operation was perforned to remove my swelling right Thyroid gland.

I won't forget the time, kindness and concern they had given me. They are indeed precious people... they are my angel friends. Just like my real true friends here in Singapore. They had heard my cries, my complains and my stories . They had been with me following my episodes over the years. They cry and they laugh with me. They support me ... and I'm so thankful I have people like them surrounding me always.

At the bottom of my heart I truly love them all....




 Id been thru a lot of hurt aches and sorrows... I had been thru some of the most painful events  that were nerve wrecking and here I stand, still moving on.. still surviving them all. .

I wonder why these bad happenings just keep streaming my way again. This time, I need to go under the knife once more to find a solution to my problematic back. Neurosurgeons  and 2 of the best ones in Singapore ( Dr. Prem Pillay / Dr James tan Siah heng ) came out with the same findings and solutions. An Anterior Cervical Microsurgery.... is probably the only option to cure my physical pain for now.  Mental and emotional pain? I put them to the side for the moment  coz I would need to wisely  take care of things one at a time.

All I know, I'm here ready to take all the risks and pain ... I just don't care anymore if badluck... in whatever form it may be comes knocking again ...

I need to be firm and brave for my children who need me ...

I shall never give up on anything ... no matter what ...

It's not in my character to be giving up on something ... It's simply not me !






Thursday, August 22, 2013

Is it Home Sweet Home ?




Aug. 22, 2013 ~  Almost 2 weeks now since I came back to Singapore and I'm still adjusting to the fast paced way of life I used to be so familiar with exactly 3 years ago.





Perth life I had just left is far more quiet,















Far more simple , pristine and way more relaxing than here in The "Lion City" .

Here in Singapore , so many things comes from different directions and you have to be always on guard not to get lost in the middle of the rushing crowds !


... haayyyzzzzzzzz !





Our stuffs shipped via 60ft container managed by Crown Relocations left our Perth home on the 2nd week of Aug. The shipment would be arriving this week and I'm looking forward to having my crafts, beads, tools ,canvasses and all our personal belongings back to us as soon as possible.







Eventhough I can't do much crafts these days due to my aching back which by the way was never healed in Perth by 4 different Physiotherapists , I still try to do things to keep boredom at bay. I have all my paints with me and I have a few canvasses too. So I tried to paint now & then. But everytime I hold my brush, here comes the creeping pain of my back again. Oh noooooo ....

#2 Blue Peacok FeathersAcrylic Painting

#1 Purple Peacok FeathersAcrylic Painting


Even, my prescribed Osteo Panadol painkillers don't relieve the  back pain I suffer from every single day. I'm starting to be more depressed not because of the move back to Singapore but because of the situation my health is in. Constant back pain affecting my right arm is something of a nightmare I have to bear day & night. It stops me from doing things properly with the use of my right arm / hand coz I'm right handed, the effect is quite devastating. It makes me feel sad and hopeless .... and it puts me in a worrying situation all the time.

Simple house chores even triggers the stabbing pain on my back. Even to type on a keyboard. It's a big struggle to finish something I had started doing with my hands. It's worrying me like hell and it makes me think at the end of the day what else can I do without moving my right arm much ? Absolutely annoying ...

I can't even wear a bangle or rings on my right hand and arm anymore... nor put a bag on my right shoulder... such a shame coz I have some real nice accessories I would wanna bring & wear . So , not for now ! Agggghhhhhhhh



Best thing I could do for the time being while awaiting for our stuffs is rest and keep my arm still as much as I could. Then find a good doctor this coming days who can finally tell me if this back needs any operation or what. I trust Singapore health facilities here to be more high tech and more advance as compared to Perth. Maybe it's one good reason as well why we were moved back here, so I can finaly find a cure for my troublesome back.

So, in the end should I say that our move back to Singapore after 3 years of living in Perth is supposed to be home sweet home ?


You be the judge ....



Our new home in Singapore ...


Wednesday, July 10, 2013

The World Around Me ...



July 2013 ~ I'm again back to my hometown here in the Philippines. I arrived here last June and I already had encountered some hot humid, sticky days as well as stormy weathers in just a matter of 2 weeks not even mentioning several financial and neighbor problems that greeted me as the days passed by( what else to expect , it happens all the time anyways ? ) . Lucky my house was built good enough to stand the disasters although some licking on the walls brought by the extended roof of my next door neighbour created a big mess in my kitchen walls everytime it rains hard. My kitchen is just being built and the design has to be revised again to avoid building the built-in cabinets connected to the affected walls. I had tried to talk it over with the next door neighbour so we can rectify the problem before it damages even more but they replied stupidly to just leave the leaks as it is. Excuse me ? Stupid uneducated, inconsiderate morons ! So soon I'll be going to the village association to deal with the problem with them.


 
So, it's one problem waiting to be resolved. I have a few more brought by other neighbors too. Most of my neighbors around me have dogs. As early as 6-7am, these dogs have a way of waking up everyone of all ages. These animals serve as alarm clocks each and everyday, rain or shine. Bloody hell ! I'm on holidays and I just couldn't even sleep until 9am here. I have to wake up and get up as early as 6;30am just like everyone else in the village. If not the dogs barking all around, my neighbors would start yelling and screaming at the top of their voices as if everyone is deaf when they talk to each other even when they're just half a meter apart ! I dunno why these people have no common sense to realize they are such nuisance to people sleeping . They wake up so early just to make noises just like their dogs. Aside from them, here comes the peddling vendors with their vegetables, fishes and meat. It's like the wet market had come to your doorstep !
 
 
 I know it's convenient to just buy from them and avoid the hassles of commuting to the wet market that's about half a kilometre away from my house. But the noise they make and the cats surrounding them as they clean the fresh live fishes is such a scene too ! Mind you, I have to block my front door with a piece of 2x3 wood so cats won't get into my house. Imagine waking up in the morning to see your garbage bin ransacked and paw prints of cats all over your furnitures inside the house ? These stray cats wander around in the neighbourhood and they're just all over the village trying to find food and would stretch their skinny bodies into small openings just to get into your house ! Aggghhhhhhhh now I'm starting to think I had lived in a hell village !
 
Some of my neighbors are very quiet and reserved. They hardly come out to talk to anyone and I like that a lot coz they keep their business to themselves and safe from trouble with others. I try to do the same but I can't help noticing some problems I can't stand to see especially if it's infront of me everyday.
 
My neighbour infront of my 2nd floor terrace has a young puppy probably about 4-5 months old. I called the puppy "WHITEY" coz it's all white. Not sure if it's male or female tho coz I can't see from afar.
 
 
Poor puppy is left all day in its cage with a padlock.The owner would go to work at 7:30am without walking the dog out first and he and his family would only come back at nightime around 7-8pm leaving the poor puppy on its own doing its business in its cage all day.
 
 
 
 
Today as soon as the owner left for work, I came near its cage for the 1st time coz it's crying and going around and around like crazy trying to send message that it wants to go out maybe to pee or poo. As soon as I came near, I saw its feces all around the cage and only has a bit of water in its food container. Poor dog ...so heartbreaking to see the condition it was in. I just wonder why some people could own pets and can't be responsible owners.
 
Compared to the other neighbors with pets on the western side of my house, the old couple living there had a female dog with 2 puppies in a cage placed on their front yard .
 
 
 
The elderly man would allow the puppies to come out of the cage and run around to play a bit with its mother dog from time to time. The cage is always being washed cleaned and well covered from the rain. His cemented front yard is well kept and his wife would always sweep the floor. All is good with them and their pets except for the clothesline full of clothes to dry which is a common scene in the whole village. I don't mind seeing it coz I hardly looked out of my windows from that side of the house anyways.
 
I had not been beading nor painting these days but I had been to Quiapo the 1st day I arrived and bought some wires, crimps and some angel charms to take back to Perth for my students.
 
 
 Lucky I found the wires for wirewrapping here in Quiapo coz in Singapore , they don't have it .
One funny thing while I was shopping for my supplies, my 3 year old grandson was also snooping around the shop as I move around. He found these items and took them to me and told me to buy them. I asked him why and he said cutely " they look nice and they would be great on your  wrists grandma " . I just laughed coz they are sparkling rhinestone bangles and at his age, he could choose something nice to put on as accessories. So I said ok then I would buy them. He was so happy  .
 
 
 
So I bought these bangles for myself . LOL!
 
Ok, truthfully,  life's good if grandson is around to cheer me up here in my village. Everything else is so and so ... so typical to be surrounded by a mix of joy and laughter when there are too many relatives.
 
So, life here in my local village is quite a downside from places I had lived in abroad. Australia especially Perth is paradise for me. Nice people, nice views, relaxing places to chill out during the day . Convenience wise... it's the place to be if you wanna be free and relaxed in your body and mind. I love Perth !
 
Singapore not too bad too. But for me the merlion city is just ok for the convenience especially with technology and health care.
 
But no matter where I go... I would always be myself . Whether good or bad surroundings, I would always be in between to balance everything .
 
 
Instead of clothes lines , I have flowers blooming on my side yards and even in my potted plants by my front door.
 
 
 
Better than a view of clothes hanging everywhere LOL!
 

 
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